Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Tuesday update.

Well so far (knock on wood) my luck seems to be holding out.  Outside of some sweating at night I seem to be doing OK on the drugs this week.

Mentally I've had my challenging moments this week.  I'm still not adjusting to this "lifestyle" or whatever the hell you want to call it.  I think Facebook is to blame -- I used to enjoy using the site to stay in touch with friends and acquaintances, but now it's become a jail cell where I'm staring out through the bars at everyone free walking by.  The scuba-related stuff is the worst but it's all bad, really.  I feel like the world just stopped spinning for me and mine this summer and it's still doing 600 mph for everyone else.

Guess I should probably get used to that.

Did a horrible job of hiding what's going on from the woman who cuts my hair today.  Usually we have fun chatting but I couldn't summon anything entertaining, and she knew something was up.  I apologized for not getting into it.  I feel like my emotional control is still lackluster at best and I'd rather not get into this strapped into a chair in a well-lit public place, much less ruin yet another person's day with my story.

I need to touch base with my doctors and make sure everything is being done properly -- I guess that's a control-freak reaction, but I kind of have to be with this.  I could swear I was told for at least the first month they were going to do more in-depth blood tests to track things but I feel like they are only doing the CBC tests to make sure administering the drugs is OK on chemotherapy days.  It probably doesn't matter but I'd like to work out all of the little bugs and communication flow problems now.

Amy changed her Facebook profile picture to a multiple myeloma ribbon picture, which has let the cat out of the bag I would imagine.  I keep balking at linking this site on there -- not sure if it's because my writing here feels too personal or I just don't feel ready to "out" myself or something.  Dunno, never really hesitated to share stuff like this before but that leap feels like it's right off a cliff and I don't want to go there for whatever reason.

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