Eight Days.

Met with the local oncologist today and it went well, all things considered.  I mean I still have cancer and it wasn't all some elaborate hoax, but the meeting went well =/  We chose the CyBorD treatment option, which is apparently a ridiculous amount of pills once a week as well as a Velcade shot, a monthly IV infusion of zoledronic acid for bone strength and "survival advantage," and 1000 units of Vitamin D and 1 to 1.5g calcium daily.  On top of that I have two strengths of anti-nausea medications and an anti-Shingles drug (at high risk due to the chemo treatment, apparently).

So I start in 8 days, next Friday.  I guess I just take all of the 3 chemo drugs in one day, not sure on the rest yet.  I have a "class" to attend early next week to go over my chemotherapy, side effects, etc.

"Joygasm."



I feel remarkably calm about all of this.  If I were to guess I'd attribute that partially to shock, resignation, denial, the surreal nature of this all, etc.  I was sitting at the schedulers desk setting all of this up today and I said to her how odd it felt to be scheduling chemotherapy, and it's true -- seriously what a bizarre feeling.  I would imagine next week will be an emotional roller-coaster as well as CHEMOTHERAPY DAY looms, but while just next week it feels like a lifetime away.  I guess that's the problem with having cancer with no symptoms -- none of this is real to me right now.

Been researching hemp- and cannabinoid-based treatments for cancer in the last few days.  Obviously there's very little research out there but a lot of anecdotal evidence that there's a lot of potential.  I had been hoping, living in one of the most liberal medical marijuana states, that this would be an easy avenue to pursue.  Unfortunately in the last week it turns out the MMJ database maintained by the state is apparently being shared with law enforcement, and with a toddler at home I have no desire to have my name on any lists connected with a Schedule I narcotic.  It's fucking shameful that this is the case.  You can't throw the proverbial rock at the Internet without getting 1,000,000 hits of real stories about people who have had success combating all sorts of terminal diseases (including cancer) and critical conditions with marijuana-based therapies like hemp oil. 

But as long as the willfully ignorant make the rules (and can send Child Protective Services to your door) it's just not worth the risk.  Here's to hoping it isn't the missing component of my success in beating this goddamn disease, I guess.